secret friends

by roland flowers

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better times


released November 16, 2016

'cancer 2' and 'a moment alone' were produced by aidan rowan (



all rights reserved
Track Name: breathe in/bite down
i know we'll never be alone
i know i'll never take you home
Track Name: thank you or sorry
sleeping in your clothes was the bravest thing i ever did
knowing all the time what others would have made of it
i never thought i'd be so happy
i never learned to say thank you or sorry

i got so scared i couldn't turn my head away
the muscles in my neck i never needed anyway
in a bed made for three i never thought i'd be so happy
i never learned to say thank you or sorry
Track Name: cancer 2
he died on the first day of the year
a month after he disappeared
his family took him away
his mother dug him a grave
his father erected a stone
his brothers dug in his bones
we were miles apart
how can i wake your sleeping heart?
how can i tell the truth?
how can i be of use?
he was all i had
now he's gone and oh how sad

he had cancer i was nervous
he woke early i burned coffee
what was i to do?
Track Name: iiii (the only cold room in the house)
all i need from you is a confirmation
a sign that you're alive
a pretty dedication
to keeping me outside
i understand you're lonely
and only tried it once
it's better to be single
than to sleep it off for months

all i want from you is an explanation
i don't want to go to sleep
with confusing situations
unwinding in my dreams
it's difficult to picture
a life without a love
but i'd rather be in pieces
than with someone i don't trust
Track Name: we don't have to if you don't want to
we don't have to if you don't want to
i won't make you i won't hate you
do you feel like getting high?

we can wait another weekend
we can forget, find some new friends
we can flower, or stay the same

we don't have to if you don't want to
we don't have to, i won't make you
i don't hate you, i don't hate you
Track Name: a moment alone
when my hands stop shaking
when my lips stop aching
when my legs stop breaking
when my skin stops paling
then my arms will open
and they will resonate a sound
and they will resonate a warmth
through all the darkness gathered round
and everybody stares at me
and everybody sees me eat
and everybody hates my teeth
and i am laughed at on tv
when my words stop trailing
when my skin stops paling
when my mouth stops failing
i will feel better
Track Name: secret friends
shot in the daytime
in a crowded restaurant
a waste of a good life
a body that i don't want

leave me alone
i'm happy where i am
and i hate driving
and i hate calling back

i got it so wrong
i don't think i'm ready yet
i'll be right here
if you wanna be secret friends

i'll be right here
Track Name: if it's not too late
do you miss me yet?
i know you're upset
could you come back home?
i know you're alone

i never say what i mean
i had an impossible dream
things were weird back then
when can i see you again?