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secret friends

by roland flowers

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1.
i know we'll never be alone i know i'll never take you home
2.
sleeping in your clothes was the bravest thing i ever did knowing all the time what others would have made of it i never thought i'd be so happy i never learned to say thank you or sorry i got so scared i couldn't turn my head away the muscles in my neck i never needed anyway in a bed made for three i never thought i'd be so happy i never learned to say thank you or sorry
3.
cancer 2 02:17
he died on the first day of the year a month after he disappeared his family took him away his mother dug him a grave his father erected a stone his brothers dug in his bones we were miles apart how can i wake your sleeping heart? how can i be of use? how can i tell the truth? he was all i had now he's gone and oh how sad he had cancer i was nervous he woke early i burned coffee what was i to do?
4.
all i need from you is a confirmation a sign that you're alive a pretty dedication to keeping me outside i understand you're lonely and only tried it once it's better to be single than to sleep it off for months all i want from you is an explanation i don't want to go to sleep with confusing situations unwinding in my dreams it's difficult to picture a life without a love but i'd rather be in pieces than with someone i don't trust
5.
we don't have to if you don't want to i won't make you i won't hate you do you feel like getting high? we can wait another weekend we can forget, find some new friends we can flower, or stay the same we don't have to if you don't want to we don't have to, i won't make you i don't hate you, i don't hate you
6.
7.
when my hands stop shaking when my lips stop aching when my legs stop breaking when my skin stops paling then my arms will open and they will resonate a sound and they will resonate a warmth through all the darkness gathered round and everybody stares at me and everybody sees me eat and everybody hates my teeth and i am laughed at on tv when my words stop trailing when my skin stops paling when my mouth stops failing i will feel better
8.
shot in the daytime in a crowded restaurant a waste of a good life a body that i don't want leave me alone i'm happy where i am and i hate driving and i hate calling back i got it so wrong i don't think i'm ready yet i'll be right here if you wanna be secret friends i'll be right here
9.
do you miss me yet? i know you're upset could you come back home? i know you're alone i never say what i mean i had an impossible dream things were weird back then when can i see you again?

credits

released November 16, 2016

'cancer 2' and 'a moment alone' were produced by aidan rowan (soundcloud.com/aidanrowan)

license

all rights reserved

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